Baseball Bats

Advice from young 'uns

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."- Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?', don't answer."- Hannah, age 9

"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."- Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes."- Randy, age 9

"When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair."- Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment."- Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath - even after eating a Tic-Tac."- Andrew, age 9

"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time."- Kyoyo, age 11

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk."- Amir, age 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts."- Kellie, age 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse."- Naomi, age 15

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick."- Lauren, age 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat."- Joel, age 10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."- Alyesha, age 13

"Never try to baptize a cat."- Eileen, age 8

Boy I can empathiz with the one highlighted Red. A few years ago, my sister and I were at a picnic and I was sitting in a lawn chair in a circle of those plastic, plaid aluminum folding chairs that never could be stylish even if they tried.

Well, Jaclyn got bored and decided to try hitting a baseball as far as she could.

"Oh, no I know where this is going" you may be thinking.

Wrong. You don't. Now sit still and listen to my story!

Anyway she stepped away from the circle (wise girl) and aimed away from the circle (wiser girl), tossed the ball in the air (great accomplishment), raised the bat (smart move), and nails the ball! Prety cool huh?! Well, the ball goes flying, and I still ended up laying on the ground grabbing my head!!!!

What had happened was that she hadn't stepped far enough away from the circle of plastic tweed dorkeo chairs! As she followed through with her swing, PING there's Ben's head. For a while I thought she did it on purpose and couldn't figure out why. A thousand ideas rushed through my throbbing brain.

Was it because I told Adam she thought he was cute, or because I ruined her 16th birthday, or was it the time I hit her on the head with a hairbrush, or the time a put her panties in the "dirty" toilet?

Umm, none of the above, she simply failed to step far enough away from the circle.

I believe our churches have done the same thing, we aven't stepped far enough away from the "box of the church." Many branches of our churches have stepped away from the "traditional" facets of church. They've abandoned anything that smacks of traditional Christianity and embraced contemporary and cool, hip worship formats. Conversely, many churches have been scared by the "singing on the wall," drums in the church!, no suits and horror of horrors no Offering plates, They've stepped away from anything that seems like a cultural thing and embraced everything we have once called dear and familiar and traditional. Now neither traditions or new approaches are wrong in and of themselves.

However, either direction have we truly abandoned the "circle of tweed chairs" or have we only stepped far enough away to still whack people on the head! We have churches that abandon all traditions and what do they do, they smack older people in the head and perhaps many souls are lost as a result. Other churches become recluse and get stuck in the 70s when 8-tracks of Bill Gaither was contemporary music, and Tweed Jackets were actually cool, and hymnals and "piana-music" was the only music in the church; and they end up pegging people in the head with a baseball bat and scare younger people away from Christ as a result of the church.

No matter what our worship approach is it must not be close enough to nail people on the head with a baseball bat! I forgive you Jaclyn!